The Life of a Minority

As kids, we all say things that as adults we sometimes wish we wouldn’t have. This is everyone’s life story I am sure. But what if we say things as children that we really do mean as adults? What then?

You know how your children scream that they hate you and never want to speak to you again? This happened with me and my father – but not in that way.

My biological father I never met until I was 9 or so. I knew that the man that I called Daddy was just my step-father and that I had a true father somewhere – but my step dad was my daddy.

I was a terrible teenager (I am sure that I have mentioned this before) but really, a terrible one. My mother couldn’t handle it or me any longer so when I was 16 she sent me to live with my biological father. This wouldn’t go over well, me being ripped away from my mother, the one person that I was wanting attention from to go live with someone I didn’t know. It was awful. All my years as a child my biological father never called for my birthday or christmas or anything – he just simple wasn’t there.

As an adult I look back on that and the effect that it had on my life. I know that things would have been better for me if he would have just stayed gone. Now that I am grown (24) my mother keeps pushing me to call and speak with my father. I just keep saying no.

When will she learn to let it go? I know what she is trying to do she thinks is for my benefit. But I get along fine without him. Why do I need to let strangers back into my life? I didn’t need my biological father as a child – why now? Why does my mother keep doing this?

Arghhh. I can’t stand it any longer. I want to tell her to shut up about the entire thing – but I don’t want to do anything to damage my relationship that I am starting to build back up with her.

So, this is for the parents, if you child is an adult and they say that they don’t want to talk to someone (for whatever reason) DON’T PUSH IT.